I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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