just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
