you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
