I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
