the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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