you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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