Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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