I like my sex mixed with concussions.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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