She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
