sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
