The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
