This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize