even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
