Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
