i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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