this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
