I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize