o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
