I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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