I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
