Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Randomize
