having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
