Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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