She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
wow bdsm is so cute
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
