I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
