Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
