im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
