Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
