Plan B is the new Plan A
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
