he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
