so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
