but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
