There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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