i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize
