I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
