It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
