In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
