This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
