hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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