dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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