Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
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