Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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