so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
