oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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