I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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