I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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