Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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