goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
