Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize