he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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