it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
handjob tips. give me some.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
