dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
