I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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