how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize