Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
