Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
