well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
