Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
