Kiss
Puke
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
