So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
