Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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