somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
