I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
