IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
