My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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