I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
We have so much sex to catch up on
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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